Moving In Together

It seems like every day a new study comes out saying it's good to live with a significant other before an engagement or marriage or that it's not. Vinnie and I may not be scientists, but we can speak to the benefits of living together before getting engaged and married. 

We moved in together after the last year of graduate school, which did not entirely please my Roman Catholic parents. We actually hid the fact that we were living together from my grandparents as to not rock the boat. I don't recommend that because it is a heavy burden to bear. I can honestly say I was nervous at first because I didn't want our relationship to remain stagnant. I wanted to marry Vinnie and I was afraid that by moving in together that it may cause that day to get farther in the future because why rush it when you already live together. 

Despite the hurdles, moving in together was a great decision for us. In our opinion, moving in together allows you to determine if your relationship is ready to go all the way. Moving in together introduces a lot of new stresses to a relationship. There is a loss of personal time and space, financial stress, and the blending of habits. For example, Vinnie likes to leave his clean laundry folded in a pile next to the dresser, where I like to put it away as soon as possible. It seems trivial but little things add up over time unless you find ways to adapt. 

Although stresses are introduced, it's not all negative. It is so much fun to live together. It is so nice to have someone to share the chores with, to cook with, and curl up on the couch with. I've been introduced to a lot of new foods thanks to Vinnie's cooking and I'd like to think he appreciates having someone who is willing to do all the dishes for him. Settling into a domestic pattern is so fulfilling and to know that your best friend is waiting for you after a long day at work, nothing beats it. 

Sometimes living together does not lead to a happy ending. We've had a few friends who lived with their significant other and the relationship didn't last. It's sad when a relationship ends, and moving out of a shared living space consists of dividing up stuff, saying goodbye to memories, and sometimes deciding who gets custody of a shared pet. As tough as that is, as with any break-up, you learn a lot about yourself and what you need to be happy in a healthy relationship. 

Soon, we will talk about some surprising things you learn by moving in together and other roadblocks that may get in the way.